When it comes to which is better – quantity or quality, your answer might be – it depends. It depends on what exactly we’re talking about, and in what context too. For example, would you rather have gone on 50 average dates, or 1 date that was far better than any other date you’ve ever been on before?
If you believe in love at first sight, know yourself well and what you want…you might just go with the one. However, if you don’t know yourself or what you’re truly looking for in that special someone…then you might decide on 50 dates. Lets be honest…going on 50 dates can be damaging to the bank account. I recently watched a news story about a woman whose goal was to go on 52 dates in 52 weeks. What happens if she meets her prince charming on date 1? What she forgo the remaining 51 dates? Would she even know what her prince charming would look like or act like? Chances are she is more interested in quantity vs. quality, and might not exactly know what she wants or is looking for. The moral of the story is that knowing who you are and what you’re looking for is the key variable to achieving your goals.
Quality is Most Important:
And that totally makes sense. Lets take this blog for example. We only want to read things that are worth our time and are useful, moving, noteworthy, unique, relevant, well thought out, etc. – especially when it’s the kind of information that’s supposed to help us improve some aspect of our personal or professional lives. The same is not only true when it comes to dating, but is also true when it comes to interviewing for employment opportunities. Albert Einstein once said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different outcomes.” Here are a few tips/suggestions to help you develop a higher quality experience…both when it comes to dating and interviewing:
1. Know Yourself: Assessing one’s values, strengths, weaknesses, passions, attributes and skills will develop greater self-awareness and help clarify your goals. Accept who you are rather than who you think others want you to be. Having self-confidence is one of the most important aspects to any situation. For instance, most people are reluctant to support an initiative/proposal that is being pitched by someone who is scared, fumbling or over apologetic. However, these same people will be more persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, who holds his or her head high, who answers questions assuredly, and who readily admits if they do not know something.
2. Know What Your Want: Assess what values and characteristics in a company/person are most important to you; which ones are you okay with overlooking if not on your list? What personal or professional goals do you have for yourself and how will the company/person help you achieve them? The process of setting goals is a powerful process that gives you long term vision and short-term motivation. By knowing precisely what you want to achieve, you know where and how to focus your efforts. When it comes to dating, both people usually try to get a sense of why the other person is there. Do they want to hook-up, meet a new friend, or have a long-term relationship? As for the interview, employers are wondering the same thing…well, more so why you are applying for the position. Are you looking for a short-term/part-time position, or are you looking for something more long-term? Either way, make sure that you approach both situations honestly and with clarity – this will help reassure them that you are there for the right reasons!
3. Do You Compliment Each Other? While knowing yourself and what you want is one thing, it is also important to know them. When it comes to dating, this is what we call the Q and A session. Start off with the question “tell me a little about yourself.” Assess what information they share about themselves; is it consistent with their online profile, or does it compliment what you are looking for? If they start spouting off everything on their Facebook profile…they are probably a stalker and might make you cringe. However, they may instead speak to their values and lifestyle requirements; using creative ways to truly show their inner-self. When it comes to the interview – it is expected that you research the company extensively. This doesn’t mean memorizing their “about us” page (you don’t want to be the creepy Facebook person), but instead research news articles from credible sources or network with professionals who have a more direct connection to the company -this will provide you with a deeper understanding of the company. For most interviews you will be asked a question related to “why us.” I recommend identifying at least 3 attributes about the company that specifically attract you to them. The more the attributes have depth, the better the response.
4. Are You Applying Elsewhere (Dating Other People)? Picture yourself on a date with someone that you come to find out has been on 50 dates prior to the one you are currently on. What perception does that create? Are you just another number? Why haven’t they had any success and can they explain why? Unless you are on the Bachelor, dating multiple people might not be the best approach. Remember, there are many out there who would be interested in dating only you! As for the interview – you can almost be guaranteed to be asked this question. While some may same to be honest, I suggest that only mentioning (if applicable) interviews which are with companies of a competitive nature. The employer wants someone who is focused on their career aspirations and knows what they want and when they find it. By going on an interview, you have indicated that you strongly feel you are an ideal fit within their organization…and know why. Approaching an interview with the idea that you just need a job is not the best approach. Like in dating, there are many others out there who would love the opportunity to be in your situation solely because of how much they would love to work with that company. Thus, be selective on who you go on date 2 with (or interview with).
By knowing yourself, knowing what you want, where there are bridges between you and them, and knowing who they are will result in an overall quality dating and interviewing experience. Let’s be real, dating and interviewing have a lot in common – especially when it comes to determining if you are a right fit for each other. Good luck!
I was watching a competition-based reality television show the other night and was taken-back by how much the term ‘best friend’ was thrown around as if it were the newest and latest catch phrase. Were these contestants truly best friends or was it more of a media ploy to convince the viewing audience of the high level of compassion and commitment they have with one another? Either way, I came to the realization that individuals are starting to misrepresent what it truly means to be best friends.
For most of us we either have a large number of friends with very few close friends, or we have fewer friends of which most are close. Yet, there is always that one friend that we consider our best friend, best bud, bestie, or closest girlfriend; one for whom we share the strongest possible kind of friendship. We know this individual as someone who walk into our world when the rest of the world walks out – leaving footprints on our heart. They are like a four-leave clover – hard to find and lucky to have. When it hurts to look back and you are scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and this person will always be there. Most importantly they enjoy quality time with you, share ideas with you, respect your differences, and stick up for you when no one else will.
According to the dictionary, each term has its own unique definition. The word “Best” means to be superlative to good; the highest degree of good or excellence – one that exceeds all others. Furthermore, the term “friend” means to have a relationship or association with someone else; a companionship. A “friend” is someone who has demonstrated the following values on a consistent basis:
- The tendency to desire what is best for the other
- Sympathy and empathy
- Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one’s counterpart
- Mutual understanding and compassion; ability to go to each other for emotional support
- Enjoyment of each others company
- Trust in one another
- Positive reciprocity — a relationship is based on equal give and take between the two parties.
- The ability to be oneself, express one’s feelings and make mistakes without fear of judgement.
- It is very important to have honesty, trust, sympathy, respect and helpfulness in friendship.
However, when these two terms are combined to form the word “best friend”, the meaning turns into one of the most powerful gifts anyone could ever receive. I hope you receive such a gift- someone you appreciate for who he/she is and for whom you don’t to be perfect. Most importantly – PLEASE DO NOT EVER COMPARE THAT FRIEND WITH ANY OTHER (even if you are a contestant on a reality show).
Take a moment and think of this special person in your life and appreciate them for what they represent in you…because chances are you are this type of friend to someone else!